17 January 2009

Amy Winehouse, Out Of Control? Never.

Amy Winehouse, quite surprisingly, had been on such good behavior over the past few weeks. Ditched that douchebag Blake Fielder-Civil, took of to St. Lucia and met a nice, Jewish, clean-cut boy who seemed to really like her for what she was. For some reason or another.

Just as all good things must come to an end, new reports are leaking that Amy has been skulking around the resort, consuming any alcohol she can manage (and by manage, I mean steal off of the other guests when they weren't looking) and now, most unfortunately, opening her mouth about her devotion to the man she was quoted to say only a mere two weeks ago, that "sex with Blake" was "rubbish". She "felt like she was dead" each and every time.

Oh, Amy.

I remember the first time I heard your music, being a big jazz fan. I was just completely blown away by your talent, your eccentricity and your general appeal. I'd been a fan of yours from day one, and despite the fact that you were really starting to earn my respect back, you had to open that rancid hole in your face and start spouting off about your very own demented, English, drug-addled Spencer Pratt.

“People think I'm a mess or something but I'm having such a great time and feeling so good at the moment. I'm certainly not out of control as some people have said,” says Amy.

Probably while crawling from table to table, waiting for its occupants to leave so she can swig back that last bit of alcohol/melted ice combination that's always so refreshing.

"I still love my Blake. I won't let him divorce me," People magazine quotes her as saying.

Amy Winehouse once said she'd be joining the twenty-seven club.

She gets back together with this fool and I won't doubt it.

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