20 March 2009

Turn-Offs and Other Shat

A few co-workers and I were talking this afternoon about bowel movements.

Grossed out? Still here? Let me explain.

I, being my clumsy self, decided to make myself a cup of mid-afternoon coffee here in the office, and in the process of pouring it, I spilled half of my steaming cup on my lovely pink linen pants that I broke out of the "Spring" closet just today. Not only did it kind of hurt to the point where my eyes actually watered from the burning sting, but it stained these pants in the most bizarre way. I have brown spots all over the front (and crotch) of my pants. I almost look like I decided to lie down in it.

I proceeded to come back to the common area with my half-cup of coffee and splatter-art pants. Of course, everyone pointed and laughed, as they usually do when I walk into a room, but that's beside the point. Another co-worker of mine asked oh-so-cleverly if I had peed my pants. Honestly, I sometimes feel that I work with a six year-old. Did I pee my pants... Christ on a cracker. Flippantly, I answered "Better to pee yourself than to be peed on", simply because I couldn't think of anything wittier at the time.

This is where the topic of bowel movement comes into play.

A woman I work with (we'll call her Devendra to protect the innocent) proceeds to tell us a story that was told to her by her sister by a co-worker of a former friend at a retail chain store in my area. Evidently, this woman and her husband are into, what I would call, for lack of a better term, shatting on one another.

Really, how disgusting is that? I mean, I get it; there's all sorts of weird people out there with weird fetishes and what I'm into is probably weird to someone else and tame to another. But really. Shatting on one another? Where is the appeal there? If someone so much as passed gas during sex, I'd have to bail. Let alone shatting? Is there a proper term for that kind of fetish, anyway? I'd be curious to find out the proper name for this act.

How does one even go about proposing that to a partner? I don't even think it could be something verbally suggested. I think it'd just have to happen. No, really. I guess you could just kind of skirt around it.

"Hey, honey... I had a BIG DINNER tonight... What do you say we go on into the
Some people claim they're "too full" to have sex.

This, however, seems to be quite the opposite.

They can't have sex unless they're too full.


  1. Oh, wow ... thank you so much for putting into words something I ponder every time I hear about it : ) That is horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are some things I will never understand ... combining poop and sex is one of them ...

  2. Yep, I'm with you on this one. I couldn't have been more repulsed than I was at this revelation! LOL

  3. Just how far gone does one have to be in order to realize that only THIS crap will get you off? Honestly. "No, tying me up doesn't excite me anymore. Nor does the leather mask. Tell ya what..."

    Good Lord.

  4. The leather mask... Best line ever. lolol

  5. I remember hearing a line in a Notorious B.I.G. song when I was 18 that referred to that. That's the only time I have ever heard the reference and I thought it just fit into his rhyme.

    I am now deeply disturbed to know that this fetish actually exists.

  6. Dude, its called Scat play. yeah it may be gross to you, but ALOT more people than you think are into it.